(Gnome) Tank for Life

Whiney Post Day: The Login Screen
March 17, 2010, 12:21
Filed under: philosophical, thought

“What is a Whiny Post?
It’s a post about your unjustified, unsupported, stupid complaints.”

Behold, in all it's glory!

In accordance with Klepsacovic’s call for what promises to be a very funny day of Whiney Posts, I intend to whine a little about something that has been troubling me for several years now, and hopefully do a decent job at it (while in reality will probably suck too much to be mistaken for real whining). Anyway, actually this has been a thorn in my side since TBC came out. Even before The Burning Crusade, I knew that someday some stupid expansion will come along and ruin everything. EVERYTHING!

I used to like logging into World of Warcraft. After starting up the game and listening to the classic heroic WoW theme, I used to sit around for minutes on end and enjoy the sheer beauty of the Portal, the ominous statues and the foreboding snake head, imagining the other side of that swirling portal which invited me to Enter the World, to see magical lands, experience adventures and fight epic battles. Maybe even watch the classic Game Intro just because. It was the Login Screen of my life… Then came TBC. My beloved shimmering, inviting portal was replaced with some ugly green goo-like swirls of foul Outlandish fel magic! The old music I enjoyed for years… gone! Just this stupid monstrous Dark Portal with these loosely hanging chain-things (what IS it with Blizzard and chains???) and a dumb-looking dragon head. Funky. Give me back my dangerous, menacing snake! Even the dark statues lost the evil red glow from their eyes, to be replaced with some green neon disco lights.

From then on I hated logging in, preferably not even looking at my screen to click Login, just pressing Enter after my password and hoping that Connecting and Authentication would be done with it as fast as possible. And I despised WoW devs for messing with the sacred Login Screen.

But it was not the end of the torture, the senseless disenfranchisement of the very essence, the very thing that WoW starts with, every day, for everyone. For when the next expansion got released, the already twisted and wicked Login Screen that was only a shadow of its former magnificent self was again replaced by this… blue, white, bright, snowing, ugly.. something. Just compare the dominant colours of the classic Login Screen and this.. abomination – warm, welcoming and friendly colours in contrast to a white, blue, cold and alienating palette.

I understand that WOTLK is played out in Northrend. I understand that Northrend has stuff like Icecrown and snow. And chains, damn them. I understand that the Lich King has a frostwyrm that invades and totally destroys your less-than tranquil Login music every minute with a horrendous BAAARFF sound. I understand that there is no portal in WOTLK that invites you through to the wonderous land of the Warcraft Universe. And wrongly so, if anything there should be a door you step through when logging in. I understand that few if any MMOs has had the original Login Screen through its lifetime and it’s natural for MMO’s to evolve and their Login Screens updated to reflect advancement and time moving on and whatnot. It’s not like I’m just nostalgic for Vanilla WoW. Or that it wouldn’t take Blizzard a huuuuge amount of dedicated developer time to make a small check box that sets your Login Screen to your preferred style.

Bah, I just want my white swirling portal back! Go away, dragon…


4 Comments so far
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I understand that the Lich King has a frostwyrm that invades and totally destroys your less-than tranquil Login music every minute with a horrendous BAAARFF sound.

Ahahahahahahaha – I was literally laughing out loud with that line.

And you know… I agree. Well, halfway. I do miss the Login Screen of Olde and while I don’t mind overlymuch the change of it from expansion to expansion, I wish they would figure out the music for this one.

They start out with nicely haunting music to match the haunting Northrend scenery on the screen (interrupted by the damn dragon) but then it switches to the Warcraft theme out of nowhere… Pick one please!

Comment by Anea

So true, so very true.
I’ve also never wound up agreeing with any new music.
Give me back my vanilla login screen.
And my swirlyball.

Comment by Armagon

[…] got reminded by this easily when I read The Login Screen by the Gnome Tank for Life, I’m always partly living in the past, having fond memories of.. […]

Pingback by Whiny Post Day: Living in the past « Armagon Live

Wow.. I had even forgotten what the old screen looked like.. but you are so right! It did used to draw you in.. and the dragon noise is blimmin annoying..

Comment by Issy

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